
Flynn, the hero, likes to check himself in the mirror a lot and is a real ladies man – or so he thinks. It is a romantic and comic fanfiction I suppose. Hope you nice friends and fans have fun reading my fanfiction and please review :))
Disclaimer: I do not own Flynn or Rapunzel or any of the characters and settings in the fanfic. Who owns them then? Who cares! -_-
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Flynn has been lying down on his back in a bush near the river for hours. The soft sunlight through the edges of the green leaves of sycamore tree tranquilly tickled Flynn’s eyelashes.
‘Rustling rustling…’ he thought it has been a long time when he last heard this kind of sound with the wind brushing the leaves rolling over the ground. It was pleasantly getting closer and closer. He attempted to open his eyes and feel the glorious sunshine, but he could barely lift up his eyelid.
He could remember almost nothing about what happened to him last night and that’s why he is where he is now - but it was predictable anyway.
“u...uh, she must have smacked my head again, with that weapon, that damn frying pan.”
He recalled Rapunzel and groaned. He then started gazing. What he was seeing was not the leaves blown by the wind nor a little birds or squirrels. He realised that two legs, the two bare legs were standing near his nose. It was unbelievable what was coming through in his misty eyesight. He was quickly pleased they were not belonging to a male species. They were shining like subtly moonlight and were sometimes exposed over a see-through pale pink sheer dress. He would not stop staring up and up and up again to her body. “um” he enjoyed secretly. He hoped badly it was not a dream.
“\\\”
He could not help peering at her silhouette. Her silky curly blonde hair falling down to her twenty four inch waist that was freely dancing in the air. She started curving her back backwards and pushed her chest so hard to the front while she flicked a bit of hair from her thin lips back behind her right shoulder with her fingers.
“ \\\ ”
“phw” he sighed and feeling relieved.
Flynn just remembered the time that he was once with Rapunzel in her tower with dazzling blonde hair.
“Ra-pun-zel?” He called her carefully.
“\\\”
He managed to raise his bust. He then looked up and tried to see her face more clearly.
“Are you... F-lynn?!” she said for the first time. Her voice was so sweet and tender just like honey.
“I saw you at the tavern in down the village the other day” she then struggled to force the muscles around her lips over to the side. Her eyes are rather seductively gazing at his eyes.
He wanted to feast from her honey jar.
“Uhhh, no” Flynn instinctively noticed something must be going on in his body. Adrenaline readily pumping up to his heart and Dopamine became flooded in his blood . It was not unusual for him though as it happens at least once every six months. Almost all local people in his village have known him as a Casanova. However, this was not the same heart pounding phase as the ones before. It was simply much faster than he could ever experience. Even when he stole the tiara and bolted away from death at the kingdom, he was okay in a second. Nothing has made him feel quite like this before. He had not felt this way.
As more he tried to manage his breath, more his heart was aching.
He thought this girl will not be Rapunzel, who brandished frying pan over his head swimmingly like a villain.
He wondered who she is, but it does not matter now.
“Ah, I think I have s-ee-n you before. Ye-p,,, now I remember ” “You, ah, are” he stuttered as blinked his eyes numerous times and scratched his messy hair.
He then bent over his back and grabbed the brown leather worn out jacket from the ground and tried to put it on over the loose white T-shirt. He flipped it over back and forth. He could not figure out how to wear it.
“Is not that a saddle, Flynn?” she broke her silence.
“Damn the horsy” he murmured. “uh” he showed her his front six teeth.
He dropped it off quickly and decided to show off his triangle shape of masculine trunk with hairy chest and biceps and triceps. But he could not because he does not have them, sorry. He gasped as she was too close to his chest. Her goddess scent could stop his heartbeat. She was drop-dead gorgeous. His cheeks were getting blushed. He blamed the Schwarzbier he drunk last night for everything.
“Mädchen” she responded.
He secretly planned to swoop her and kiss her. Doing this was almost always a success to win the beauties. He grabbed her waist with his two hands before she realises too much about what is going on. He then pulled her tightly towards him. His lips were beginning to reach to hers ...
“No” She pushed his chest away and spanked his left cheek.
“Ahhh---ah” He screamed.
“Flynn, Flynn Rider, you okay?” Rapunzel kept slapping Flynn’s left cheek desperately to wake him up.
“Uh, oops” his eyes were widened and the pupils were enlarged.
“Why have you been grabbing my blanket that tightly. She was annoyed.
“Huh, this is the worst scenario that could happen to me, eh, s**t” he complained silently.
“Hey listen, my mom will be coming back soon so please leave now” Rapunzel demanded.
Without knowing who she was in his dream, he could not think of anything else.
Flynn would never know Mädchen is actually Rapunzel’s sexy witch mother. His heart has already been stolen. This went too far and too deep. No one had a clue that why the witch was brushing her daughter’s hair for ridiculously long late last night.
“Rapunzel, my dare daughter, let your hair down, mom is home” Mädchen called her loudly.
“hhh, hhh, hhh,” Rapunzel and Flynn panicked.
Hi, Love.
ReplyDeleteIt was good to see the setting of characters at the top.(I should have done it, too!)
I had to read this two or three times to get the gist of the story because this is quite complicated until you figured it out.
It was interesting and I enjoyed it, even though it taxed my brain.
Does this story continue to the movie? I haven't seen it, so I wonder where Flynn is going to end up.
Hi, Naho. Thanks for your comments :) I will tell you the gist of my fanfic. Flynn is a playboy and dreams of one gorgeous hot young woman. However, the mom of Rapunzel (originally an ugly old witch, who had snatched Rapunzel when she was a baby to capitalize on her magic) will try to deceive Flynn to not to help Rapunzel in terms of going back to the 'palace'.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, it helps you understand my fanfic more? Thanks for reading it :)))
Hey in theworld, this fic is great so far. There's some really good descriptions in there, which seem to be your strong point, however it needs tidying up. First of all cut the 'ahh' and 'um's' from your dialogue. That'll make it flow faster. Also cut a few words out, keep it sweet and snappy without blasting my face with poeticness.
ReplyDeleteThis fic is great so far. You're excellent at descriptions and there's some real good humour in there. Just work at those little things and cut it down and it'll be perfect.
Hi Bex,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments which will be really helpful for me in the following fanfic :) Although I am not sure at all whether or not I will write it again -_- You have pointed out exactly what I was kind of struggling with as I wasn't familiar with those expressions @,@ I will try to make those sound shorter like 'ah' rather than ?ahhh...? kk Thanks a lot :D
Hi :)
ReplyDeleteYour fanfic is based on Rapunzel, a story that we all know quite well, and more recently I'm assuming it's based on the film version. I enjoyed the story, and there were some funny sections. However there are also some complications in word choice and grammar, aswell as some of the dialogue being a little bit hard to read. For example, I'm not sure how the end line of "hhh, hhh, hhh" would translate into spoken conversation. You also probably don't need to put asterisks (***) where swear words would be, just write the word for the sentences to flow better.
A lot of work has gone into this, good job!
Hi, Grace.
ReplyDeleteThanks again. Do you mind telling me of what 'word choice and grammar' I could have improved? I truly wanna improve my literacy standard.
Good point about not using 'asterisks.' :)
Hi, everyone.
ReplyDeleteThis is obviously my first entry of the fanfic universe. I have written it in third person perspective. I planned to make the character of Gothel who was an old ugly witch turn out to be a sexy young woman, Madchen. Flynn then would fall in love with the witch without knowing who really she was. Poor Rapunzel would have a heart breaking time, but no one knows what’s going to happen to the three of them. Only my fingertips on my laptop keyboard controlled by my brain and from my heart came the inspiration :D.
Reading through about 100 fanfics (a little exaggerated here! ㅜ,ㅜ) helped me gain an understanding of why fanfic has been so popular. It also gave me an idea of how fandoms are connected with the canon world. For instance, the way they re-create these fanfic to satisfy themselves and entertain other fanfic lovers. This has been definitely a new phenomenon as far as literacy is concerned.
Thanks for reading all my rubbish ㅜ,ㅜ"
Hey. Nice lighthearted writing. It seems that you're comfortable writing dialogue which is essential. But expanding on what Grace said you should approach some of your wording with caution. Although when blogging there is no right or wrong in terms of dialogue which gives alot of creative freedom, but some may choose to read this and decide it is of a foreign translation. Nonetheless good work !! =)
ReplyDelete